A letter from the artist of iHCULOCHi.

For as long as I can remember, slow and steady was always my race. No matter how much I wanted to be able to sprint to that finish line, it has never been in my wheelhouse of creation. Not only did I create a turtle like pace for myself, I also would create holes to tumble in and flip on my back only to have to figure out how to get back on my feet to climb out. These holes that I created felt like a sabotage because no one else in the race with me seemed to realize the holes were even there and therefore would just run right over them. However, when I observe the time spent climbing out of the hole, the experience of the climb built me up to be stronger mentally, more creative and opened a world of insight I would have never been able to see if not for the holes. One thing the holes led me to was… Why?

Why are these holes here and why am I the only one that is falling into them. It appeared to me that the ways of the world that seemed to work for everyone else didn’t work for me. Figuring out how to maneuver in a world that I felt was not for me gave me the desire to pursue the truth.

Growing up Christian, Pentecostal, I was taught that I must trust in God without question or questions. This was called having faith.  Being African American, this no questioning God was a bit difficult for me. From the age of one to twelve, my family would spend two weeks in Washington DC visiting my aunt Shelvey and going to different museums, historical homes and buildings, learning about the history of this country. The stories of ancestors I was aware of that were the mothers and the fathers of those I held near and dear along with stories of those that paved a way for me to walk. Needless to say, I learned about the good, the bad, and the ugly. The story of slavery and the mistreatment of my ancestors as years followed after slavery pulled at my heart and was the thing that I had the most questions about but had no answers.

How could God let something like this happen? In the 90s, when this information was revealed to me, there was limited correct information on the subject that wasn’t sufficiently watered down or stuffed with fluff. What was then characterized as a salvation of souls and a necessary evil, is now realized to be a violent colonization of land and people. As a religion was forcefully delivered for a complete physical slaughter of nature and a mental slaughter with an attempt to erase the genius of a people that had inherited the earth.

This question of why and how this could happen haunted me as a child and as I became an adult, the thought of raising children into this world without the answers to these questions pushed me harder for the truth. Having a strong belief in God, this world with all of its idiocrasies was not good enough for me to accept. I knew there had to be more. Deep down I knew that God was here in a much deeper way than was taught and our connection had to be bigger. But what I found was much bigger than what I ever expected.

Having a desire to know the truth is the only desire needed to have it all. By wanting to know the truth no matter where it took me, opened a door I would never want to close again and it led me on a path filled with experiences and knowledge that I thought I could never have prior to death. Knowledge that I thought I was not supposed to have being merely human and to have such knowledge, I would have to go through a very dramatic, theatrical process that would leave me either nailed to a cross or up a mountain. But that really is not me. I am a low drama creator and those that know me know that I value calm and stability. And although my experiences were potent they did not leave me gasping for air.

They were given to me very slow but constant and there is nothing more slow and constant than Nature. Observing nature was my first true communication with Spirit. Although I didn’t quite realize it at the time, the knowledge of Spirit came to me there first because it is very comfortable for me. I also had begun to have a real enjoyment and thirst for reading. One of the holes I mentioned earlier that was created for me to fall in was reading. As a child I struggled with reading so much that I developed a phobia of reading out loud that I didn’t completely overcome until maybe my early thirties. However, Spirit gave me the thirst to read more to the place where I was reading whatever book would fall off the shelf in front of me. I was also led to follow some teachers that would lead me only so far and then I would be led to move on. I later understood that no one teacher is meant to answer all of your questions because inevitably we need to see the questions being answered from within ourself. So each teaching I tumbled upon would only take me so far, to the place where, I would have no choice but to seek out another source because this source had become redundant.

During this process, I learned how to talk with Spirit first in the form of my ancestors, those I knew of as well as those I didn’t know of and spirit guides. My personality type is quiet. Much of the time, I enjoy listening than being the one talking. As a child at family get-to-gathers, I enjoyed listening to the grownups talk and tell stories rather than playing with my cousins close to my age. So the majority of the way I was able to communicate with Spirit was by listening and observing. With this source of communication opened, I was able to begin to get some answers to the nagging questions I have had since childhood. Listening for answers helped me to train myself to be able to decipher from the truth of Spirit and the lies of fear in my mind. This training made me highly sensitive to what is truth and what is a lie.

Being able to communicate with Spirit guides daily was the step I needed to come to the complete understanding that I am my Spirit guide and I am my ancestors. From this, I slowly became aware of the fact that I am all that is. I was no longer reaching for a source outside of myself because I am the source. All the questions I have can be answered within me because I am eternal knowledge.  With this knowledge, I learned that I am the creator of everything because I am my own God. Through Spirit, I also found the importance of observing the stories of the past. Finally the answers that I was looking for, slow but steady begin providing me with knowledge. The past that I had questioned, “Why?.. Why?.. Why?” is a story designed with a lesson like an old African proverb. The past is not to be relived but to show a lesson that gives knowledge about ourself and our lives. Just like the stories of the Bible, although some have interpreted wrongly as means of control, are stories about us. Learning the stories of our ancestors is a tool, an open book into our lives and an understanding of who and what we are and why. Opening up to the knowledge of Spirit shows the world and all of its story as a book. Everything from the past and the present in nature is knowledge into everything. This knowledge of where we have been, shows us where we are going and our future is very bright because it is illuminated by Spirit.

Everyone has a path to Spirit. This was mine. Being who I am on the outside which is my physical body, personality and talents, shaped my path to finding who I am on the inside. It gave me connection that pulls at my heart because it is connected to my heart. We all have a connection to our heart, this connection leads us to stories that date back to the beginning of time. These stories give us knowledge and are our path to Spirit.

The path that I have been on has really shown me that everything I am is perfect. My quirks, quietness, creativity, sense of humor is all of me and what I am, I am supposed to be. I have spent most of my life trying to be something different, something better, something that works but who I am is not meant to be changed, it is meant to be seen. It is meant to be seen, loved, appreciated by me. With this observation, I rear my kids knowing everything that they are is exactly who they are meant to be. They are not here to be molded into something that makes others comfortable, they are as they should be. I chose to homeschool my kids to give them that freedom to be themselves as their truest self and run this race at the pace that is best for them even if that means not running at all at times. My connection with Spirit has given me the peace of mind that is needed to move forward with confidence because I now always feel supported. As a mother, I know l am to mirror that support for my kids. iHCULOCHi was created in hopes to be a little help on the path for others to know that support. With this support of knowing Spirit as ourself, we are our true self. We are free.

Sharra Myers Harvin is the creator and artist behind iHCULOCHi. She earned her BFA in Studio Art (Drawing) from Arizona State University and a MFA in Advertising (Art Direction) from the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, California..

Sharra’s experience in the visual arts include drawing, painting, graphic design, mixed media, surface design, illustration, fiber art, clothing design, product design, multimedia, and art therapy.